“I was rejected as a child. I want to feel loved but I do not know how to find love and end my loneliness.” Or, “I am torn between two opposites and do not know who to turn to or what to do.”
On loneliness: There are those who have set an example with their lives; they had felt rejected, lonely unloved, and are today the most widely loved individuals with tremendous satisfaction in their lives. How did they do it?
Learn to give love, instead of asking for it. Stop being self centered; cry no longer words such as “I was rejected”, “I am unloved”, I am lonely”, When you do this, you are reinforcing these thoughts. People see you and move away because they are afraid of what you might demand.
Have no fear in giving; trust in yourself. Ask when was the last time you were at a potluck party and filled a plate for someone? Or, stood in line and volunteered your spot to another? Or, saw someone feeling cold and put your shawl around her? Or saw someone feeling lonely and gave her a truly undemanding smile? Or knowing that someone is sick but alone, offered to look after him, without expecting thanks?
Loving and not expecting something is the secret of being loved. But avoid clinging and resist the temptation of wanting to pour out your own story. Think of similar selfless ways of loving, without fear of rejection. Even before you begin to feel that you are being loved, you will begin to feel a sense of satisfaction because you have been selfless.
On conflicts: When faced with two opposites, have both; you will become a bipolar magnet. There are no conflicting forces in the universe. All is complementary. In quantum physics a force is both photon particle and a light wave; an atomic particle is in two places at the same time. There are only continua or continuums, only complementary forces.
What is the time? I ask: Where? Right now, is the night or day? The answer is: It is both. Here it is day, in America
Yoga masters often present disciples with contradictory choices in practical life and the disciple has to develop the spiritual skill to resolve apparent contradictions and reach samadhana, a resolving, bringing together the apparent conflicting factors and parts and thereby arrive at a holistic reality.
Find the positive concealed in the negative free the mind of being in conflict. By learning to resolve conflicts, recondition the mind of its conditioning. Life it from habit patterns, free it from running in set grooves, and thereby develop fresh insights of positive nature into relationships, communication and events as well as philosophical realities and truths, Liberate the mind and consciousness from what Vedanta calls upadhis.
The riddles in the Vedas, ulat-baansiyaan of Kabir, are part of the same liberating systems. So also is the vast repertoire of koans. A koan forces one to come out of set grooves, mental habits and dichotomous conditionings. For example, the well-known kosn: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Between two opposites there is a third option lurking, much like the way Hegel’s thesis and antithesis produce a synthesis. Do not suffer loneliness: enjoy solitude and learn to decondition your mind.
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Spiritual spirit comes from the very inner layer of our body. This is known as feeling of an individuals.