Mind Your Manners

Vedanta says earn and acquire as much wealth by honest means as you can but also upgrade yourself as a human being that is, as the one who can see self in other. It means cultivating pleasing manners. The least you can do is not to offend and hurt others with your behavior. To become a better and responsible person with good civic sense, to embrace virtues like honesty, truthfulness, patience, consideration for fellow human beings and compassion for those who are not as privileged as you are. However, material prosperity tends to erode character, values and behavior in some and this is something that we need to guard against.

For example, some of us are so proud of our children – who are not even eligible for a driving license – when they drive cars in by lanes at high speed. We don’t mind telling lies for petty gains. Arrogance and ego grow along with growth in income. Patience in one is seen as a sign of weakness, you are called a “loser”. You are seen as an achiever, as one who gets things done if you can jump the queue as others wait patiently their turn. The more we earn and the more things we acquire, the greedier we become.

Another distinguishing feature of our prosperity is – as we acquire wealth we start looking down on the less privileged. Suddenly we feel we’re different – and so create a separation. We change our manner and demeanor according to who we address – a VIP or someone who is less known. Test of our behavior is not how we treat VIPs or those who matter to us but how we treat the people who are less fortunate than us.

One’s behavior and conduct in society is not only about how we relate to each other but also in the way we treat public places and facilities. The Delhi Metro train service is a case in point. Within five years it has grown so much in popularity that it is almost always full of commuters. However, if it were not mandatory for Metro doors to remain closed, chances are that people would think nothing of hanging out, risking their lives and others’.

Etiquette and pleasant manners need not be restricted to the home, office or among peers and friends – it needs to be evident in public places as well. Pushing and shoving each other to catch a train or bus does not behave those who otherwise project themselves as educated or evolved people. Senior citizens and others who might be physically challenged need to be given preference in seating and so on. With material progress and technological advance, we need to also take care to nurture comparable upward evolution of our own selves.

To come back to Vedanta culture and tradition, a truly evolved human being would be perceived as one who would be sensitive to the needs of others and not only his own. This is the reason perhaps why all Vedic rituals and prayers are directed not at the welfare of any one individual but are meant for the common benefit of all. Hence, the tradition promotes the concept that all life is one family – vasudhaiv kutumbakam.

Good manners and compassionate outlooks are marks of one who is on the path of onward evolution, striving to reach higher planes of consciousness. Good ethical practices and mindful living are not the preserve of the renunciation – they are equally important for those who choose to live in the world and yet perhaps strive to rise above it.

How Green is My Valley

Looking forward rather than looking backwards, we find that maturity consists in focusing on the positive aspects of our lives and then dealing with the negative aspects in an effective manner. In order to remain evergreen like the evergreen tree, we can choose the good, avoid what is evil and distance ourselves from what is no helpful. Looking back at our life experiences, we will find that our lives, whenever they have remained evergreen, were so precisely because of the difficulties and trials we overcame and the spiritual strength that we gained.

For those of us who have learned to live with a positive attitude, our valleys have remained green because we have translated our experiences, built on our weaknesses and converted them into strengths, nurtured our souls and water of compassion and wisdom.

With the passage of time we learn to be less harsh and judgmental with ourselves and others. We look at ourselves not through the prism of demanding master but through the prism of a loving, faithful and compassionate God. As we grow older, we become more content and satisfied with what we have done so far and ready to take on other tasks and responsibilities. The wisdom and understanding that comes with age is not automatic. We have to grow intellectually, emotionally and spiritually so that we can develop a discerning mind and spirit.

Like fruit that has ripened we mature and with the water of our imagination and enlightened soul we create for ourselves evergreen valleys. We sometimes ask ourselves. How green is my valley? We do not wait the moment of death to do that, we try to know the answer now.

Gita and Business Ethics

The word ‘ethics’ comes from the Greek word ‘ethikos’. It refers to one’s moral character and the way in which society expects people to behave in accordance with accepted principles.

Business ethics is the code of good conduct that a business adheres to in its daily dealings both with other businesses and with customers.

Most philosophers conclude that ethical failure occurs because of lack of character. Virtuous people will live ethically. Therefore, we need to think about the desired virtues and how one can develop those virtues.

In the month of Magha (December) 5,000 years ago, on the battlefield at Kurukshetra just before the start of Mahabharata war, Krishna outlined to Arjun a system of ethics that has withstood the test of time. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna not only how to build character but lso the rood cause of ethical failure and how to avoid it.

Krishna outlines 26 qualities of a gentleman to be merciful, obedient, truthful, equitable, saintly, magnanimous, mild-mannered, clean, simple, charitable and peaceful. He should have surrendered to God and not be greedy or possessive but remain steady and determined, free of the six bad qualities not gluttonous, sober, respectful, humble, grave, compassionate, friendly, eloquent, expert and concise.

It is easy to give a list of positive qualities that we can all agree upon. Yet, even though hundreds of trainers work day and night to teach people good character, when it really matters people’s character still fails why?

Krishna answers in chapter three, verses 37 and 38, “O Arjuna, it is lust… later transformed into wrath, which is the all devouring sinful enemy of this world. As fire is covered by smoke, as a mirror is covered by dust, or as the embryo is covered by the womb, the living entity is similarly covered by different degrees of this lust”

To maintain good character, we must overcome kama, that is lust or selfish desire. Most people think kama means just sexual craving, but it simply refers to an overwhelming desire for anything, such as lust for power. Greed, dishonesty and corruption are all by product of lust. To be happy, successful and well situated, the Gita says one must control lust.

Gita’s solution to the ethical failure and downfall of corporations and society and family is controlling the senses with spiritual strength. Ethics is linked to spirituality. For the last century or more western business separated work and spirituality. Kurukshetra was also about mind control. Every one of us, whether s manager or employee, is fighting his own battle, his own Kurukshetra. The Gita can help us to learn to regulate our senses, control our minds and gain spiritual strength.

The Gita is as fresh in insight and as relevant today as it was 5000 years ago. If only every manager, administrator politician employee, worker and others pick a copy of the Gita and spend a few minutes daily reflecting on its message, one can experience the positive transformation. Who doesn’t wish to be disciplined, to achieve home work balance and bring peace and harmony in a secular environment?

Focus on Your Breath

Concentration is the key to success. The student taking an exam but distracted by a popular song running through his head; the businessman trying to write an important contract; but worried over an argument that he had that morning with his wife; the judge distracted by the fact that a teenager to whose defense he is trying to listen bears  striking resemblance to his own son. All of these persons could tell us something of the disadvantages of poor focus.

A focused mind succeeds not only because it can solve problems with greater dispatch but also because problems have a way of somehow vanishing before its focused energies, without even requiring to be solved. A focused mind often attracts opportunities for success that to less focused (and therefore less successful) individuals appear to come by sheer luck.

Concentration awakens our powers and channels them, dissolving obstacles in our path, literally attracting opportunities insights and inspirations. In many ways, subtle as well as obvious, concentration is the single most important key to success.

This is particularly true in yoga practice. The mind in meditation especially, must be so perfectly still that not a ripple of thought enters it. God cannot be perceived except in utter silence. Much of the teaching of yoga therefore, centers on techniques designed specially for developing concentration.

Of these techniques my guru Sriram Sharma Acharya Yogananda, considered the most effective to be one which involves attentiveness to the natural process of breathing…. The simplicity of this technique causes many a beginner to ignore it; yet in its very simplicity lies much of its greatness.

Concentration implies, first an ability to release one’s mental and emotional energies from all other interests and involvements and second an ability to focus them on a single object or state of awareness. Concentration could be dynamic outpouring of energy to perfectly quiescent perceptions and in its higher stages. It becomes so deep that it is no longer just practice. The yogi becomes so completely identified with the object of his concentration that he and it, as well as the act of concentration itself, become one.

In this way he can even temporarily become one with something external to himself, gaining thereby a far deeper understanding of it than would be possible by scientific objectivity. But focusing on our own higher realities, identification with them becomes lasting. For we are the infinite light, and love and joy and wisdom of God. Consciousness of diligent practice ought to be refined into an effortless process of divine becoming.

The most effective technique of concentration will be one which both interiorizes the mind, and permits a gradual transition from technical practice to utter stillness. The technique of watching the breath fulfills both of these requirements – better perhaps than any other technique possibly could. For not only is the breath one of the most natural focal points for attention, the more deeply one concentrates on it, the more refined it becomes, until breathing is automatically and effortlessly suspended in breathlessness. Mediator, the act of concentration, and the object of concentration, become one.

Feeling Sad? Accept it

Q. I am so tired of people telling me that I look sad. When I feel happy they still tell me that there is sadness there too. I just don’t know what to do about it?

Osho: Do not think whenever anybody says it, accept it with deep gratitude and tell them that they are right, that you are sad. You are avoiding the fact. That’s why you are feeling just; otherwise you would not be. If somebody says that you are beautiful, you are not hurt. You feel grateful it is a compliment.

Why do you feel hurt when somebody says you look sad? Because you don’t want to be sad, and you are and you want that nobody should know that you are sad, even if you are.

Nobody is hurting you; nobody wants to hurt anybody. People are beautiful. If they say that you are sad, they are simply saying that they would like you not to be sad… They would like you to be happy because your sadness will make them sad also.

Whosoever comes near you – a friend, a neighbor, a lover… if you are sad you make him sad also. You create a sad situation. And if someone enters your arena he is bound to become sad. If he goes on laughing in spite of your sadness, it will be offensive. Even if he wants to laugh, even if he had come to laugh with you, he cannot just to be polite, as part of etiquette. And if you are really sad and the person feels for you he will feel for you. When he says you look sad, he is simply saying that it is not good that you feel like this.

You feel hurt because you were trying to avoid the fact and now he comes and brings the fact before you. Thank him! Feel grateful that he brought it to your notice. And don’t try to hide it. What can you do? If you are sad, you are sad. Don’t smile and hide behind it, don’t create any screen, camouflage, no façade

Once you accept it you will find that by and by there are moments when you forget that you have to remain sad, and you have become happy, just a moment before you had forgotten. When I told you to hang a sign around your neck, you had forgotten completely; you were not sad at that moment.

Sadness is not anybody’s nature; just a mood, a habit, a pattern. It can be broken. It is because you have chosen it. But the way is not to fight it. The way is to transcend. So accept it. Be really sad for three days. If you find yourself becoming happy, immediately become sad, because you have to follow the sigh. Otherwise people will ask what you are doing. If you catch what you are doing. If you catch yourself getting a little smile or something feel guilty!

It is just an old habit that you slip into again and again. Habit needs unconsciousness, a habit lives in unconsciousness. If you become conscious of it, it disappears. So for three days you be consciously sad, consistently sad, and persistently sad. Don’t go here and there; immediately catch hold and come back and be sad. You will fail!

Big Bird of the Storm

Big Bird of the Storm

When there is a severe storm, birds with small wings are caught up in it, but large birds with strong wings fly upwards and save themselves from becoming victims of the storm.

On the basis of this phenomenon there is a saying in the English language. “Big birds of the storm.” This applies to people of high thinking, to those who can save themselves from the environmental storm. That is they can live on their own without becoming affected by the external world.

Who are the ‘big bird’ of the storm? They are the ‘big bird thinkers’ who can live independently, drawing on their own mental resources. Big bird thinkers are those who do not become angry even when provoked. They are those who maintain their positively even in negative situations, who can control their thoughts in such a way that they can see all men and women as human beings, whether friends or foes, and who can keep the peace even if others turn violent.

‘Big bird thinkers’ are those who are so mature that nothing can distract them from their objectives, who give well considered responses when in adverse situations, rather than simply indulging in an emotional backlash.

There is a saying in Hindi “Kuttu bhonkte rehte hain our hathi chalta rehata hai” – the elephant walks on without being disturbed by barking dogs. This is the best illustration of one who has the capacity for ‘big bird thinking. Life is full of storms, full of barking, full of untoward situations – these things are due to the laws of nature and no one is in a position to abolish the laws of nature. So you have only two options; either to waste your time and energy by constantly stopping to reactionary behavior or to ignore all undesirable situations and try to live like the elephant in the adage. Elephant style living is the only successful way to live in this world.

‘Big bird thinking’ is only another name for spiritual thinking. Spirituality is not something mysterious; it is positive thinking. All spiritual people are positive thinkers and all positive thinkers are spiritual in nature. Spirituality and positive thinking are almost synonymous with each other.

There is a beautiful story in Hindu mythology: Once a man became furious and he kicked Ram in the chest. Ram’s response was quite unique. He said: “Mere lokhan seene se tumhare komal paunwen ko chot to nahi lagi?” I hope your soft leg was not hurt by my iron chest.

Spiritual behavior is friendly behavior towards every human being – to both friends and foes alike. Spiritual behavior is like the behavior of flowers that can live with all their fragrance in the neighborhood of thorns.

An Urdu poet has beautifully expressed this: “Gulshan parast hoon mujhe gul hi nahi azeez, kaaton se bhi nibah kiya jar aha hoon mein” –I am a lover of nature, I don’t only love flowers, but I can live normally with thorns as well.

Spirituality is good for the all round development of the individual’s personality, for it makes you free of tension and friendly towards all. Spirituality is the way to all kind of success.

Positive thinking makes you a ‘big bird thinker’ and ‘big bird thinking’ imbues the human character with spirituality. Although this is an inner wquality, it is this inner quality that has the power to better all your external affairs.

A Life Free of Burden

Why are we not able to progress quickly?

The reason why people do not progress quickly is that they are loaded with a pile of external opinions and thoughts.

If you go for a walk in the morning and someone asks you where you are going, you reply cheerfully that you are taking a walk. How cheerful your face looks!

At 10 or 11 am, if you are going the same route and someone asks you the same question, you answer dispiritedly: "I am going to office/" You no longer exude cheer. Why? Because your mind is full of all kinds of ideas - " I have to do this, I have to do that ……." - you are burdened with the sense of doer-ship. This is not the way. Go to the office or your shop, but plan your day in such a way as if you were a prince at play. You should take all your duties as if they are acts of amusement.

You may think, "If I take my work like pastime, my business will suffer."You're wrong. If you free yourself from anxiety and stress, you will work better. Why should you worry? You have seen the events of the past, you are seeing the present and you will also see what will come to pass in the future. At the most, you will die, and die you must some day or the other. Don't be afraid of death; don't try to save yourself from death, and don't try to escape it either: Invite and welcome troubles with a challenging and playful curiosity. Then they will lose their severity.

Many people are in perpetual fear of being insulted. Insult is far better than the fear of death. Death is preferable to the fear of death. Criticism is better than the fear of criticism. Fear fans the fire of distressing thoughts; it diminishes your energy. So live life free of fear, worry and stress.

Poet Melton's wife would chide him when he set out to walk with the aid of a walking stick. "Every day you go for a walk, but what do you seek to gain from this? You can't even see properly now"

Milton would reply, "Birds sing, winds play about and cress me. In that fresh morning air, when the dawn comes tearing the nocturnal darkness apart, it brings an untold beauty. I go to see that beauty."

His wife would say, "But you don't have vision. How can you see beauty?" Milton would reply: "Beauty is not seen with external eyes. The eyes that see beauty are within us"

Similarly, to analyze our life there is no need of the external eye; we need the internal eye. To see how calm or happy we are, or what is the state of our mind in adverse circumstances, we don't need external vision. We don't require external eyes to see if we behave with equanimity in the face of troubles and insults.

We require the internal eye to respect or we remain untouched by them. This insight to make life joyful and free is available only from satsang and company of saints who have awakened to their real Self; and is perfected through the practice of developing the 'witness' attitude. Therefore, instead of carrying the burden of the sense of doer or enjoyer, one should seek refuge in the enlightened ones and comprehend their witness absolute, eternal, pure, knowledge personified real self free from all bondage.