Responsibility and freedom go together. If you don't want to take responsibility, you can't have freedom either. The two come together or they go together: If you shun responsibility, you have to accept slavery in some way or other.
Now, you had dreamed about freedom without every thinking that great responsibility will follow. Freedom you have, but you have not fulfilled the responsibility. Hence, sadness lingers around you. You are absolutely capable of removing this sadness. If you were capable of destroying your slavery, your chains, you are certainly capable of being creative.
Freedom means you will have to be responsible for every act, for every breath; whatever you do or don't do, you will be responsible. People are really in deep fear of freedom, although they talk about freedom. But my own experience is: Very few people really want freedom; because they are subconsciously aware that freedoms will b ring many problems that they are not ready to face. it is better to remain in cozy imprisonment. It is warmer, and what will you do with freedom? Unless you are ready to be a seeker, a searcher, a creator...... Very few people want to go on a pilgrimage or to go into deeper silences of the heart, or to take the responsibility of love. The implications are great.
You will have to dispel that darkness; otherwise sooner or later you will enter into a prison. You cannot go on burdening yourself with sadness. Before the burden becomes too much and forces you back into slavery, into imprisonment, change the whole situation by being a creative person. Just find out what is your joy in life, what you would like to create, what you would like to be, what you want to be your definition.
Freedom is simply an opportunity to find a definition for yourself, a true, authentic individuality, and a joy in making the world around you a little better, a little more beautiful - a few more roses, a little more greenery and a few more oases.
Madam Blavatsky, founder of the Theosophical Society, used to carry two bags in her hands, always. Either going for a morning walk or travelling in a train -those two bags were always in her hands. And she was throwing something out of those bags - from the window while sitting in the train - onto the side of the train.
People would ask, "Why do you do this?" She would say, "this has been my whole life's habit. these are seasonal flower seeds. I may not come back on this route again, but that does not matter: When the season comes and the flowers will blossom, thousands of people who pass every day in this line of railway trains will see those flowers, those colors. They will not know me. That does not matter.:
"One thing is certain: I am making a few people happy somewhere. That much I know. It does not matter whether they know it or not. What matters is that I have been doing something which will make somebody happy. Some children may come and pluck a few flowers and go home. Some lovers may come and make garlands for each other. And without their knowing, I will be part of their love. And I will be part of the joy of children. And I will be a part of those who will be simply passing by the path, seeing the beautiful flowers."
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Spiritual spirit comes from the very inner layer of our body. This is known as feeling of an individuals.