Know that You are Unique

If you pause for a moment to consider that there never has been nor will there ever be anyone else exactly like you, you will know why being yourself is more important than anything else; and you will be able to sidestep the very commonly prevalent fear or pressure that traps us into blind conformity.

The opposite of courage in our society, psychologist Rollo May said, is not cowardice; it is conformity.

Being inspired by someone and learning from their example is wonderful; but if we were supposed to be exactly like that someone, we would have been created with all of her personal qualities, also circumstances, potential, and limitation too. Instead, each of us is born into a specific time and place, with a unique combination of a certain set of talents, and the potential to add or enhance all that in order to fulfill our individual mission in life.

We have all been taught to measure ourselves against the example of other, greater, more successful beings. We are inspired by them and want to follow their example…. But we can become so obsessed with the need to live like someone else, look, teach, grow successful and become rich like someone else, that before we know it we cease to be ourselves.

In the film The Legend of Bagger Vance, Bagger Vance Volunteers to be caddy for the has-been, written-off golfer Junuh in an important tournament. At a pivotal point in the movie, he tells the indifferent player, “Inside each and every one of us is our one true authentic swing. Something we were born with. Something that’s ours and ours alone. Something that can’t be learned. Something that’s got to be remembered.” It suggests finding our authentic self, our special place in the world, our special way of doing things, our special things to do, that absolutely no one else can.

Once, an old Hassidic story goes, the great teacher Zusia came to his followers, his eyes were red with tears, and his face was pale with fear.

“Zusia, what’s the matter? You look frightened!” The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned of the question that the angels will ask me when I stand at the Gates of Heaven.”

The followers were puzzled. “Zusia, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?”

Zusia turned his gaze to heaven. “I have learned that the angels will not ask me, why weren’t you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?” His followers persisted “So what will they ask you?”

“And I have learned, “Zusia sight, that the angels will not ask me, why weren’t you a Joshua, leading your people into the Promised Land?”

His worried followers demanded, “But what will they ask you?”

“They will say to me, ‘Zusia, there was only one thing that no power of heaven or earth could have prevented you from becoming.’ They will say, “Zusia, why weren’t you Zusia?”

Of course you should be inspired by the examples of others and let their lives motivate you to reach your fullest potential; but ultimately you must become the best place your own name here possible.

Or as Oscar Wilde quipped: Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.